11 Temmuz 2012 Çarşamba
10 Temmuz 2012 Salı
9 Temmuz 2012 Pazartesi
The Batboat made its debut 45 years ago today.
To contact us Click HERE
On July 30, 1966 the BATMAN feature film premiered in Austin, Texas, near where the boat was made at the Glastron Boat factory.
The Batboat made its debut in the movie and its premier in Austin was a contractual stipulation between the Greenway Productions and Glastron.
There were two boats created: Batboat I and II. "I" was used in the movie and TV show and II for Glastron to use in promotional events. Only one is known to survive and its in storage in Texas.
The above photo is of Batboat II near the Port-O-Call Inn (formally Guy Lombardo's Port-O-Call Inn) Tierra Verde, Florida.
Here is Adam West on the day of the premier, which was held during Austin's "Aqua Festivle."
On July 30, 1966 the BATMAN feature film premiered in Austin, Texas, near where the boat was made at the Glastron Boat factory.The Batboat made its debut in the movie and its premier in Austin was a contractual stipulation between the Greenway Productions and Glastron.
There were two boats created: Batboat I and II. "I" was used in the movie and TV show and II for Glastron to use in promotional events. Only one is known to survive and its in storage in Texas.
The above photo is of Batboat II near the Port-O-Call Inn (formally Guy Lombardo's Port-O-Call Inn) Tierra Verde, Florida.
Here is Adam West on the day of the premier, which was held during Austin's "Aqua Festivle."
A Bike Ride, With Joe The Plumber
To contact us Click HERE
Now I know why Joe The Plumber gave me a bicycle: He wants someone to ride with.
On Saturday, he decided we should bicycle to Old Sacramento. I saw no escape.
It's been a long time since I did much bicycling, so I was fairly-unprepared. Instead of taking water, I decided to hydrate first. Joe decided to take his water bottle, dangling from a kerchief from the handlebars.
We first bicycled to College Cyclery, so he could get air in his tires. He left his water bottle behind there when it fell out of his kerchief.
We biked up 21st Street. At P Street, we stopped for the light. He pointed at 'The Press Club' and said in a low conspiratorial voice: "It's run by the Hell's Angels." I nodded gravely (knowing how unlikely that is likely to be).
We passed a locksmith that displayed a sign that said: "Think Keys." So, I thought keys.
Joe kept pointing out a variety of local plumbing mishaps along the way, like malfunctioning sprinklers and leaks from large pipes with old fittings. He pointed at pipes poking out of the ground at a street corner and repeatedly said something like: "Vacuum assembly! Beverly Hills!" I stared stupidly at the pipes in the ground, trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about.
We turned off 21st at K Street, eventually emerging among the crowds near the Convention Center. Joe found another water bottle near the IMAX Theater. This newfound water bottle was chilled. Joe decided it was a gift from God.
We continued down the K Street Mall. Joe stopped to take a drink, and spilled some water onto the pavement, to honor "those who are not with us any more."
We plunged into the Saturday midday crowd at Downtown Plaza Mall. We got separated for a while, when a security guard politely asked me to walk my bicycle through the pedestrian walkways, rather than rudely pedaling through, as Joe had done.
Support our local dance crews against formidable foreign competition! If anyone is going to run the world, it's got to be our local Sacramento girls!
On Saturday, he decided we should bicycle to Old Sacramento. I saw no escape.
It's been a long time since I did much bicycling, so I was fairly-unprepared. Instead of taking water, I decided to hydrate first. Joe decided to take his water bottle, dangling from a kerchief from the handlebars.
We first bicycled to College Cyclery, so he could get air in his tires. He left his water bottle behind there when it fell out of his kerchief.
We biked up 21st Street. At P Street, we stopped for the light. He pointed at 'The Press Club' and said in a low conspiratorial voice: "It's run by the Hell's Angels." I nodded gravely (knowing how unlikely that is likely to be).
We passed a locksmith that displayed a sign that said: "Think Keys." So, I thought keys.
Joe kept pointing out a variety of local plumbing mishaps along the way, like malfunctioning sprinklers and leaks from large pipes with old fittings. He pointed at pipes poking out of the ground at a street corner and repeatedly said something like: "Vacuum assembly! Beverly Hills!" I stared stupidly at the pipes in the ground, trying to figure out what the heck he was talking about.
We turned off 21st at K Street, eventually emerging among the crowds near the Convention Center. Joe found another water bottle near the IMAX Theater. This newfound water bottle was chilled. Joe decided it was a gift from God.
We continued down the K Street Mall. Joe stopped to take a drink, and spilled some water onto the pavement, to honor "those who are not with us any more."
We plunged into the Saturday midday crowd at Downtown Plaza Mall. We got separated for a while, when a security guard politely asked me to walk my bicycle through the pedestrian walkways, rather than rudely pedaling through, as Joe had done.
We passed through the tunnel under Interstate 5, and emerged in Old Sacramento. We bicycled a short distance north along the Sacramento River, stopping briefly to look at railroad work near the Train Museum, and ended up at the Water Intake Facility on the Sacramento River (pictured at left: christening date 2004).
At the Sacramento River Water Intake Facility, with Joe The Plumber.
Summer's day frolicking on the Sacramento River.
Suffragettes in Old Sacramento lambaste some misogynist Old-West coot who had the temerity to challenge their progressive notions of Voting, and Equal Rights.
Eating ice cream just opposite Evangeline's. Joe entertained himself by chatting up a parking meter reader.
Afterwards, we shopped among the spiked bracelets at Evangeline's.
We bicycled back, mostly by following the Light Rail tracks.
We stopped at the lone remaining tent at the weekly Farmer's Market, under the W-X Freeway, and looked at antique-ey stuff, like a school microscope.
The bike trip was very, very Sacramento, the way we hit so many key Sacramento landmarks.
You know what else is very, very Sacramento? This music video, featuring Krystle Morales (clearly identifiable at 0:18, and again at 4:43, with a trademark Red Rose), hits many of the same, key Sacramento landmarks we visited on this bike trip:
Uh oh! I guess Sacramento's ICE Dance Company wasn't the only one with this idea! Dance crews from all over the world faced off against each other on YouTube using the same song by Beyonce. This Russian dance crew is awesome!
Support our local dance crews against formidable foreign competition! If anyone is going to run the world, it's got to be our local Sacramento girls!
Michigan Governor's 2010 Executive Budget
To contact us Click HERE
Message from the Director, Bob Emerson
As Director of the Office of the State Budget, I would like to invite you to explore and make use of the many areas of our Web site. The State Budget Office is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the state budget including development of the Executive Budget recommendation, presentation of the budget to the Legislature and implementation of the budget after enactment. The Office also supervises and manages the collection and dissemination of educational data through the Center for Educational Performance and Information.
I am committed to providing comprehensive and useful information regarding the state budget and responsibilities of this office. I hope you find what you are looking for within our Web site.
**Governor Granholm's 2010 Executive Budget Addresses Structural Deficit, Protects Families
**Fiscal Year 2010 Executive Budget
Michigan Treasury
As Director of the Office of the State Budget, I would like to invite you to explore and make use of the many areas of our Web site. The State Budget Office is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the state budget including development of the Executive Budget recommendation, presentation of the budget to the Legislature and implementation of the budget after enactment. The Office also supervises and manages the collection and dissemination of educational data through the Center for Educational Performance and Information.
I am committed to providing comprehensive and useful information regarding the state budget and responsibilities of this office. I hope you find what you are looking for within our Web site.
**Governor Granholm's 2010 Executive Budget Addresses Structural Deficit, Protects Families
**Fiscal Year 2010 Executive Budget
Michigan Treasury
The Tax Saver's Credit Toolkit
To contact us Click HERE
A new resource from AARP—a Retirement Made Simpler partner—has been developed for HR professionals to help employees make the most of the Saver's Credit—a federal income tax credit of up to $1,000. Toolkit materials include intranet content, an e-mail message, materials for open enrollment packets, FAQs and more.
Click on either the Automatic 401(k) or Traditional Defined Contribution Plan Toolkit below to learn more about how you can help eligible employees claim this valuable tax credit.............
Retirement Made Simpler
Click on either the Automatic 401(k) or Traditional Defined Contribution Plan Toolkit below to learn more about how you can help eligible employees claim this valuable tax credit.............
Retirement Made Simpler
We're hiring!
To contact us Click HERE
Institute for Sustainable Living, Art & Natural Design (ISLAND)
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
Key Competencies & Requirements
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
- Planning, managing, executing and evaluating events and workshops
- Work closely with the Events Coordinator
- Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience
- Knowledge of and passion for ISLAND’s mission
- Basic knowledge of non-profit structure
- Proficient in email, word processing and spreadsheet programs (i.e., Google Docs or Microsoft Office)
- Prior experience working in a team environment
- Prior experience organizing events
Key Competencies & Requirements
- Ability to plan, organize and meet deadlines
- A reliable car/method of transportation is necessary for travel to events and workshops
- Must have reliable and regular access to email, a personal computer and a cell phone
- Excellent attention to detail
- Excellent oral, written and interpersonal communication skills
- Ability to thrive in and be highly productive in a self-directed work environment
- Cover letter
- Resume
- List of references
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
8 Temmuz 2012 Pazar
More Blonde Jokes
To contact us Click HERE
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
Virgin Bride
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Girls night out
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.
The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a friend.
The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right ... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"
Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"
Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest?
Is it........
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush
Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."
"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%...
No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.
Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?
Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."
(ringing)
Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."
Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million.
The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question.
There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer -- fire away Barbara."
Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:
A-Robin
B-Sparrow
C-Cuckoo
D-Thrush"
Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."
Barbara: "You think?"
Maggie: "I'm sure."
Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)
Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"
Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"
Regis: "Is that your final answer?"
Barbara: "It is."
Regis: "Are you confident?"
Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."
Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please put your hands together for Barbara."
(clapping)
That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not build its own nest?
Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock."
Virgin Bride
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."
Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence, OKAY!
Little Leroy
To contact us Click HERE
Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday."
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.
Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.
Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
LETTER 1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Leroy
Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Leroy
Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.
LETTER 3:
Dear God:
I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.
Leroy
Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either, so he wrote another letter.
LETTER 4:
Dear God:
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Leroy
Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.
Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write his letter to God.
LETTER 5:
I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Leroy's mother asked him if he thought he deserved to get a bike for his birthday. Little Leroy, of course, thought he did.
Leroy's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted him to reflect on his behavior over the last year and write a letter to God and tell him why he deserved a bike for his birthday.
Little Leroy stomped up the steps to his room and sat down to write God a letter.
LETTER 1:
Dear God:
I have been a very good boy this year and I would like a bike for my birthday. I want a red one.
Your friend, Leroy
Leroy knew this wasn't true. He had not been a very good boy this year, so he tore up the letter and started over.
LETTER 2:
Dear God:
This is your friend Leroy. I have been a pretty good boy this year, and I would like a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Leroy
Leroy knew this wasn't true either. He tore up the letter and started again.
LETTER 3:
Dear God:
I have been an OK boy this year and I would really like a red bike for my birthday.
Leroy
Leroy knew he could not send this letter to God either, so he wrote another letter.
LETTER 4:
Dear God:
I know I haven't been a good boy this year. I am very sorry. I will be a good boy if you just send me a red bike for my birthday.
Thank you, Leroy
Leroy knew, even if it was true, this letter was not going to get him a bike. By now, Leroy was very upset. He went downstairs and told his mother he wanted to go to church. Leroy's mother thought her plan had worked because Leroy looked very sad.
"Just be home in time for dinner," his mother said.
Leroy walked down the street to the church and up to the altar. He looked around to see if anyone was there. He picked up a statue of the Virgin Mary. He slipped it under his shirt and ran out of the church, down the street, into his house, and up to his room. He shut the door to his room and sat down with a piece of paper and a pen. Leroy began to write his letter to God.
LETTER 5:
I GOT YOUR MAMA. IF YOU WANT TO SEE HER AGAIN, SEND THE BIKE.
Signed,
YOU KNOW WHO
Boy. This Isn't Dirty
To contact us Click HERE
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22 ) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
The Guy's Rules
To contact us Click HERE
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
We're hiring!
To contact us Click HERE
Institute for Sustainable Living, Art & Natural Design (ISLAND)
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
Key Competencies & Requirements
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
- Planning, managing, executing and evaluating events and workshops
- Work closely with the Events Coordinator
- Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience
- Knowledge of and passion for ISLAND’s mission
- Basic knowledge of non-profit structure
- Proficient in email, word processing and spreadsheet programs (i.e., Google Docs or Microsoft Office)
- Prior experience working in a team environment
- Prior experience organizing events
Key Competencies & Requirements
- Ability to plan, organize and meet deadlines
- A reliable car/method of transportation is necessary for travel to events and workshops
- Must have reliable and regular access to email, a personal computer and a cell phone
- Excellent attention to detail
- Excellent oral, written and interpersonal communication skills
- Ability to thrive in and be highly productive in a self-directed work environment
- Cover letter
- Resume
- List of references
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
7 Temmuz 2012 Cumartesi
Boy. This Isn't Dirty
To contact us Click HERE
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22 ) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
The Guy's Rules
To contact us Click HERE
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
1. Men ARE not mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh
We're hiring!
To contact us Click HERE
Institute for Sustainable Living, Art & Natural Design (ISLAND)
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
Key Competencies & Requirements
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
Position: Events Assistant
Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).
Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).
Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.
Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.
Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities
- Planning, managing, executing and evaluating events and workshops
- Work closely with the Events Coordinator
- Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience
- Knowledge of and passion for ISLAND’s mission
- Basic knowledge of non-profit structure
- Proficient in email, word processing and spreadsheet programs (i.e., Google Docs or Microsoft Office)
- Prior experience working in a team environment
- Prior experience organizing events
Key Competencies & Requirements
- Ability to plan, organize and meet deadlines
- A reliable car/method of transportation is necessary for travel to events and workshops
- Must have reliable and regular access to email, a personal computer and a cell phone
- Excellent attention to detail
- Excellent oral, written and interpersonal communication skills
- Ability to thrive in and be highly productive in a self-directed work environment
- Cover letter
- Resume
- List of references
For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.
Michigan Governor's 2010 Executive Budget
To contact us Click HERE
Message from the Director, Bob Emerson
As Director of the Office of the State Budget, I would like to invite you to explore and make use of the many areas of our Web site. The State Budget Office is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the state budget including development of the Executive Budget recommendation, presentation of the budget to the Legislature and implementation of the budget after enactment. The Office also supervises and manages the collection and dissemination of educational data through the Center for Educational Performance and Information.
I am committed to providing comprehensive and useful information regarding the state budget and responsibilities of this office. I hope you find what you are looking for within our Web site.
**Governor Granholm's 2010 Executive Budget Addresses Structural Deficit, Protects Families
**Fiscal Year 2010 Executive Budget
Michigan Treasury
As Director of the Office of the State Budget, I would like to invite you to explore and make use of the many areas of our Web site. The State Budget Office is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the state budget including development of the Executive Budget recommendation, presentation of the budget to the Legislature and implementation of the budget after enactment. The Office also supervises and manages the collection and dissemination of educational data through the Center for Educational Performance and Information.
I am committed to providing comprehensive and useful information regarding the state budget and responsibilities of this office. I hope you find what you are looking for within our Web site.
**Governor Granholm's 2010 Executive Budget Addresses Structural Deficit, Protects Families
**Fiscal Year 2010 Executive Budget
Michigan Treasury
The Tax Saver's Credit Toolkit
To contact us Click HERE
A new resource from AARP—a Retirement Made Simpler partner—has been developed for HR professionals to help employees make the most of the Saver's Credit—a federal income tax credit of up to $1,000. Toolkit materials include intranet content, an e-mail message, materials for open enrollment packets, FAQs and more.
Click on either the Automatic 401(k) or Traditional Defined Contribution Plan Toolkit below to learn more about how you can help eligible employees claim this valuable tax credit.............
Retirement Made Simpler
Click on either the Automatic 401(k) or Traditional Defined Contribution Plan Toolkit below to learn more about how you can help eligible employees claim this valuable tax credit.............
Retirement Made Simpler
Kaydol:
Yorumlar (Atom)