We're hiring!

To contact us Click HERE
Institute for Sustainable Living, Art & Natural Design (ISLAND)

Position: Events Assistant

Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).

Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).

Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.

Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.

Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities

• Planning, managing, executing and evaluating events and workshops
• Work closely with the Events Coordinator

Education & Experience

• Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience
• Knowledge of and passion for ISLAND’s mission
• Basic knowledge of non-profit structure
• Proficient in email, word processing and spreadsheet programs (i.e., Google Docs or Microsoft Office)
• Prior experience working in a team environment
• Prior experience organizing events

Key Competencies & Requirements

• Ability to plan, organize and meet deadlines

• A reliable car/method of transportation is necessary for travel to events and workshops
• Must have reliable and regular access to email, a personal computer and a cell phone
• Excellent attention to detail
• Excellent oral, written and interpersonal communication skills
• Ability to thrive in and be highly productive in a self-directed work environment

Application Instructions: Interested candidates should submit the following application materials via email to Amanda Kik, Co-Director, at amanda@artmeetsearth.org:

• Cover letter
• Resume
• List of references

Applications materials received by November 11, 2011 will receive first review and preference for first round interviews. Position will remain open until filled by the right candidate.

For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.

Boy. This Isn't Dirty

To contact us Click HERE
A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 22 ) was having trouble with one of her students
The teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"

Boy. answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy. waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy. can go to the third-grade."

Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy. both agree.

Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."

Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."

Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut

Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy. was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum

Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands

Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.

Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent

Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring

Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Boy.: Nose

Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy.: Arrow

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Boy.: Firetruck

Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork

Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Boy.: SURNAME

Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher,
"Send this Boy. to Delhi University, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

The Guy's Rules

To contact us Click HERE
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down Finally, the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible , Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger laugh

We're hiring!

To contact us Click HERE
Institute for Sustainable Living, Art & Natural Design (ISLAND)

Position: Events Assistant

Overview: The new ISLAND Events Assistant position supports the work of the Events Coordinator. The position is responsible for a wide variety of activities related to events and workshops to support ISLAND’s mission. ISLAND hosts over 100 workshops and events each year, designed to build community and self-reliance skills and provide cultural experiences for the community. Examples include the green world (growing shiitakes, organic gardening, animal husbandry, raising bees), the real home ec (cheese making, fermenting, brewing, canning), tinkering (welding, cordwood building, carpentry), and arts and music (concerts, film series, book binding).

Time commitment: Averages 32 hours per week. Flexibility in schedule and willingness to work some evenings and weekends is a must. Position runs from January to November 2012 (the position after November 2012 is contingent on funding).

Location: The ISLAND office is located in Bellaire, Michigan. Events and workshops are held throughout northwest lower Michigan. The Events Assistant will both telecommute and work from the ISLAND office.

Salary: $10 per hour. Some benefits, like paid days off, are available after six months of employment. As much as we’d like to, we are unable to offer health benefits at this time.

Main Job Tasks & Responsibilities

• Planning, managing, executing and evaluating events and workshops
• Work closely with the Events Coordinator

Education & Experience

• Bachelors degree or equivalent work experience
• Knowledge of and passion for ISLAND’s mission
• Basic knowledge of non-profit structure
• Proficient in email, word processing and spreadsheet programs (i.e., Google Docs or Microsoft Office)
• Prior experience working in a team environment
• Prior experience organizing events

Key Competencies & Requirements

• Ability to plan, organize and meet deadlines

• A reliable car/method of transportation is necessary for travel to events and workshops
• Must have reliable and regular access to email, a personal computer and a cell phone
• Excellent attention to detail
• Excellent oral, written and interpersonal communication skills
• Ability to thrive in and be highly productive in a self-directed work environment

Application Instructions: Interested candidates should submit the following application materials via email to Amanda Kik, Co-Director, at amanda@artmeetsearth.org:

• Cover letter
• Resume
• List of references

Applications materials received by November 11, 2011 will receive first review and preference for first round interviews. Position will remain open until filled by the right candidate.

For more information about ISLAND, visit www.artmeetsearth.org.

Michigan Governor's 2010 Executive Budget

To contact us Click HERE
Message from the Director, Bob Emerson

As Director of the Office of the State Budget, I would like to invite you to explore and make use of the many areas of our Web site. The State Budget Office is responsible for coordinating all aspects of the state budget including development of the Executive Budget recommendation, presentation of the budget to the Legislature and implementation of the budget after enactment. The Office also supervises and manages the collection and dissemination of educational data through the Center for Educational Performance and Information.

I am committed to providing comprehensive and useful information regarding the state budget and responsibilities of this office. I hope you find what you are looking for within our Web site.

**Governor Granholm's 2010 Executive Budget Addresses Structural Deficit, Protects Families
**Fiscal Year 2010 Executive Budget

Michigan Treasury

The Tax Saver's Credit Toolkit

To contact us Click HERE
A new resource from AARP—a Retirement Made Simpler partner—has been developed for HR professionals to help employees make the most of the Saver's Credit—a federal income tax credit of up to $1,000. Toolkit materials include intranet content, an e-mail message, materials for open enrollment packets, FAQs and more.

Click on either the Automatic 401(k) or Traditional Defined Contribution Plan Toolkit below to learn more about how you can help eligible employees claim this valuable tax credit.............

Retirement Made Simpler

Fw: AMBER Alert: Mount Vernon, NY CHILD:5yrs Black male 3' 6" 50lbs Hr:black Eye:brown SUSP:49yrs Black male 6' 180lbs Hr:black Eye:brown CALL(866)NYS-AMB

To contact us Click HERE

...This is an ACTUAL AMBER ALERT... Issued By:        New York State Police Jurisdictions:  Bronx, Delaware, Dutchess, Greene, Kings, Nassau, New York, Orange, Putnam, Queens, Richmond, Rockland, Suffolk, Sullivan, Ulster, Westchester Counties Headline:          AMBER Alert: Mount Vernon, NY CHILD:5yrs Black male 3' 6" 50lbs Hr:black Eye:brown SUSP:49yrs Black male 6' 180lbs Hr:black Eye:brown CALL(866)NYS-AMB Description: NEW YORK STATE AMBER ALERT Activation Date and Time: Monday, July 02, 2012 - 1:29 AM The Mount Vernon Police has activated the New York State AMBER Alert and is investigating a confirmed child abduction that occurred on West 3rd Street, in Mount Vernon, NY at about 7:29 AM on 7/1/2012. The CHILD, Ranaldo Brown is a Black male, approximately 5 years old with punk, black hair and brown eyes. He is approximately 3 feet 6 inches tall and weighs about 50 pounds. Ranaldo was last seen wearing blue denim shorts, white cutoff shirt, and red and black sneakers. The SUSPECT, Thomas Whaley is a Black male, approximately 49 years old with short, black hair and brown eyes. He is approximately 6 feet tall and weighs about 180 pounds. The suspect was last seen wearing blue and white basketball shorts and basketball jersey shirt. The SUSPECT was last seen traveling on foot possibly heading for New York City. Suspect abducted child from former girlfriend. Suspect is no relation to the child. Suspect has an extensive criminal history including violent and weapon offenses. Anyone with any information on this abduction is asked to call the Mount Vernon Police at (866)N Y S-AMBER or dial 911 to provide information on a report or sighting. Instructions: Visit http://amber.ny.gov for the most up to date information concerning this alert. (Click above to listen to the Audio Recording)   For a permanent link to this Notification (may contain additional formatting and / or content which could not be sent), follow this link:  http://www.nyalert.gov/Public/News/AlertView.aspx?notID=3662677&refer=HOME&source=ADFTFH&messageID=44433255& To Un-Subscribe to this distribution, log into the NY-Alert - Civilians Portal using the following URL:  https://users.nyalert.gov